The Hipster brings you bitter, ironic satire and cruel, mockery-laden invective. But it's funny.

Home of the Hipster

since January, 2002


My Finger

Banana Bob

Jarrod @

Really, REALLY Bad Websites - Spelunking the caverns of pop culture

Whaley's Computer Makes Music For Machines

More Mechanical Music

Send correspondence to:

<< current

New Hipster Poll Coming Soon...

Jarrod Whaley (the Hipster) sees through the use of his patented Ocular OrbsTM technology.

Number of Aging Hipsters currently living at the Home:




Rate the Home on

the best pretty good okay pretty bad the worst help?

A Retired Hipster
aging hipsters' retirement home


I swear this is real

John Ashcroft sings! Yes folks, it's true. And he wrote the song himself!Straight from CNN, the AHRH's partner organization, comes this strange yet real footage of the United States Attourney General bursting into song at his cute little podium. This footage comes to us from a recent CULT OF SCALIA meeting (see AHRH archives). Apparently, when a new member joins the cult, he must prove his everlasting fealty to Justice Scalia by making a fool of himself and of his nation in front of the entire world.

By the way, I am very sorry about the commercial that CNN decided to include with the footage. Write your congressman, who is probably dancing before the Deluth Star Trek Convention even as we speak.

We are all doomed.

Added at_9:32:00 PM


Mechanical Penis Replacement To Be Made Available!

exclusive technology story!

Look at my mechanical penis! Penis woes got you down? Viagra not for you? Well Jim Tumescent of White Sphere, Idaho has just the thing for you. He calls it his mecha-pecker unit. It's essentially a robotic solution to the common problem of impotence. Here's how it works: The unit sends 3,000,000 volts of electricity into the rectum, which stimulates the prostate gland in a profound way. The included "erecto-rod," which is inserted into the cavity left at the time of castration (included in the price!) is then extended by the tightening action of the rectum combined with powerful "forces" that are caused by the electrocution of the prostate. The result is second-to-none staying power. Mr. Tumescent claims that the unit will provoke a sustained erection of the "erecto-rod" for up to 3 minutes at a time! Compare that to older, outdated biological (so-called "natural") technologies such as traditional penises.

While the unit is still quite bulky and unwieldy, Tumescent says that the technology is improving at such a rate that the unit will be small enough to fit inside a large suitcase in as soon as fifteen years.

The unit carries an MSRP of $29.99. When you consider all that you are getting, this is an amazing price!

Available at all Ace Hardware and Sears outlets beginning in Fall of 2003.


Added at_12:39:00 AM


Silver Stuffed Catfish Heads Garner Interest Among Bored Children Community

you heard it here first

Something smells fishy... Fed up with video games and television, many of today's pre-teens are turning to alternative forms of entertainment. Said Timmy Whitehead, of Poughkeepsie New York, "I always did like goin' fishin' with my dad. Now I can play Catfish with the experts! These stuffed catfish heads are rad!". Timmy makes a good point. Why bother with trying to get to level thirty-seven of the popular video game bassmasters '02 when you can see the real thing at the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea festival?

His sister added, "them is good eatin', too." Well said, Timmy's sister.

AHRH, 2002

Added at_11:59:00 PM


Added at_7:27:00 PM


Adbusters Banner This page is powered by Blogger.Free Traffic Tools!